Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize
