Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize