Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
