I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
