Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
