i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
