how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i already hear my dad disowning me
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
The power of my boobs compel you
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
