Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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