I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
