Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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