So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
