yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
