The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
