Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
