All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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