So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
