Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
