i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
