just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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