so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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