glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
