I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Randomize
