my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize
