I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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