MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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