we have officially lost it.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
