ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
