Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
