i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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