Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
