he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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