Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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