I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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