Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
