thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
