never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
