she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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