On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Randomize
