Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm both gender and math confused
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
