if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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