i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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