u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
