Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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