If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
