nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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