Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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