She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
