it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
