can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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