Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
